


Fun and Games

by st_ivalice



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Cor is still a little shit, Gen, M/M, Moment of Silence for Clarus' hair, Prank Wars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-04-19 10:35:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14235435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/st_ivalice/pseuds/st_ivalice
Summary: Everyone claims they want no part of it but everyone always takes sides. There was no neutral ground.





	Fun and Games

**Author's Note:**

> Amicitia Week Day 6
> 
> Prompt: Prank Wars/Sibling Rivalry

“Why do we have a fire extinguisher out?”

Prompto was the first to actually notice anything, or, more correctly, _say_ something, because this has been going on for years that no one questions it anymore. Everyone claims they want no part of it but everyone _always_ takes sides. There was no neutral ground.

“Don’t worry about it.” Gladio finished replacing all the candy in Clarus’ candy bowl to licorice which Cor hated with a passion.

For good measure, he left a few crumpled wrappers near the bowl so it looked more enticing.

“Do the pranks ever really get so intense that you actually need it?”

“No,” Gladio said, then added, “Well, there was one year Ignis got so startled he actually did use magic. So that’s why we have it out. For our magic users. But no one’s ever gotten hurt, which is the important thing.”

“How many people are involved?” Prompto glanced around Clarus’ office, taking in the ancient weapons, tapestry, and boatloads of paperwork, his first time having ever been in here.

“It started out years ago when my dad, Cor, and the King were about our age. The main rivalry is between my Dad and Cor and everyone kind of just picked a side. Well, Iris is on Cor’s side and I’m with my dad. Don’t bring _that_ up.”

“ _Okay,_ duly noted. And everyone just pranks each other?”

“Yes and no. It’s for one week of the year and you’ll _know_ when it starts.”

Yesterday kicked off the week, with Cor replacing his dad’s usual CrownCar pick up with a Moogle Car, its bright red nose, red pom on the antenna the brightest things on the street. Iris lost it when Monica pulled into their driveway and the horn honked a cutesy, but obnoxious ‘ _kupo._ ’ Obviously her idea but executed by Cor.

Monica smiled and gave Clarus an “I’m sorry, Sir,” and his dad shook his head. “No you’re not,” he said, and called up Cor. He could overhear the conversation perfectly.

“Don’t be late,” Cor said over the phone.

“I’ll walk.”

“Get in the car, Clarus.”

His father had stood his ground. “Fuck _that_.”

“Get in the _fucking mooglecar._ ”

Conveniently, Cor and Iris had moved all their other cars and hid the keys, so both he and his dad had taken the MoogleCar to the Citadel.

“Oh _man,_ ” Prompto said after hearing the story. “I _knew_ I missed something good yesterday.”

Picking up the extinguisher with one hand, Gladio thrust it into both of Prompto’s arms. “Showing your true colors, then?”

Prompto looked panicked. “What? No! I mean, you gotta admit that’s a pretty good one.” Then, “Do I have to pick a side though?”

Gladio peered sidelong at him as he closed the door to his dad’s office. “How do I know I can trust you?”

“Have you _seen_ my face?” The blond’s expression was one of pure sunshine. Still, even Ignis had turned against him a couple of years. Usually he was annoyed, because the King rescheduled meetings. Despite them dating, last year Ignis had given him a quick peck on the cheek and a “ _Sorry, love,_ ” before Noctis had warped beside him and drew a penis on his cheek in sharpie before he had to train recruits.

“I have. And I know better. You’re still a recruit though, so you’re still new to the game.”

“I know not to get on anybody’s bad side. At least the ones that matter.”

Gladio smiled. “You’re not impressing anybody by staying _neutral_. If there’s even a chance Cor or my dad thinks you’re on the other side, they won’t forget.”

Shifting the extinguisher from one shoulder to the other, Prompto sighed. “I don’t have a choice, do I?”

“Pick a side, Argentum. Want to impress the Immortal, who is only the _Commander_ , I might add, or your current Boss, the Captain, my dad. And me, your _future_ boss.”

“What side is Noct on?”

He scoffed. “Cor’s. Probably to get back at me.” He caught Prompto’s look. “Oh, I’d still die for him in a heartbeat, but this week, I wouldn’t trust him as far as I can throw him.”

“And I’ve _seen_ that, so sign me up, Boss!”

“Alright then.”

Gladio made sure his dad’s door locked automatically and as they turned, saw Cor walk down the administrative hallway to his office.

He looked suspiciously at Gladio and then at Prompto. “Prompto,” he acknowledged, his usually greeting. Gladio had picked up that Cor favored—in that odd way of his—Prompto because of their similar upbringing. Perhaps he believed Prompto would side with him this week.

Beside him, Prompto gave a nervous smile. “Marshal.”

They kept walking, but slowed to watch as Cor tentatively checked if his door had been fiddled with and pulled up a log on his phone to see who had accessed it since he was gone.

Gladio grinned. He’d used Monica’s card. Cor believed he had Monica’s fealty this week, but his dad had made a deal with her after the MoogleCar incident.

Cor opened the door slowly and when nothing fell, they saw his shoulders relax slightly.

“What are we waiting for?” Prompto whispered.

There was a loud airhorn blast as the door opened all the way and Gladio laughed. “ _That_. Added it to his doorstop.”

“ _Very funn_ y, Gladio,” Cor barked from his office.

Prompto snorted. “ _Oh my gods_.”

“Oh, we’re not done.”

Another airhorn, this time louder and longer blared, followed by a very tired, “ ** _Godsdammit._** ”

“And on his chair,” Gladio revealed. “C’mon, we should check up with my dad. Also, I don’t want to push my luck when Cor figures out we switched all the keys on his keyboard.” He typed with two fingers and always looked at the keys. How a physical prodigy didn’t put all that to muscle memory stumped him.

* * *

“Hey, Da—” Gladio stopped mid-sentence when he saw his hair. “Whoa. I thought you came home to change shirts?”

“I _did_ ,” Clarus answered and pointed at his purple hair. “This was from this morning.” The dye worked even more because his hair was more white that brown now. He was still working out who was responsible. Iris? Cor? Both of them had ample time to mess around with his training bag.

Gladio looked at the sandwich ingredients he had spread out on the kitchen counter.

“I’m making you one, too, Son.”

“Thanks. You could always shave it? It’s getting a bit long, anyway.”

Clarus paused his spread of mustard. “I’m not giving Cor the satisfaction of that again.”

“ _Again?_ ’

“I never told you? It’s how this whole thing started. Lay down the cheese and the lettuce and I’ll tell you.”

“Deal,” Gladio said, heading to wash his hands and the lettuce.

“Regis and Cor had a bet,” he started. “I think he was annoyed with him.” As they _all_ were back in that day. And still now. “Cor was a handful before…” he paused, the emotion of Cor’s ordeal and shift in personality hitting him again. He shoved it away. Nope, not today. “Before Taelpar Crag. Anyway, Cor lost. So he had to shave a part of my hair. Did such a shitty job of it, couldn’t fix it without shaving everything off.”

Gladio laughed. “What?!? I always thought you cut it to look more formal for the coronation and duty and all that.”

Clarus gave his beautiful long hair a moment of silence. “Nope. I’d still have my hair like yours.” He grinned. “Then everyone really can’t stop saying how much you look like me.” He shook his head, retuning back to the sandwiches. “That little shit. Messing with my hair. _And_ he’s done it again. Doesn’t understand the real value of hair. It’s why he cuts his own hair and has that stupid half bowl cut.”

Gladio snorted. “I wondered about that. It’s been the same for years.”

He gestured with the butter knife in his hand. “You better watch yourself. And your sister. Lock your door when you sleep. I don’t like that look in her eye.”

Gladio gave him an odd look. “You really think Iris will do something? She’s your favorite.”

Clarus hummed negatively. “Not this week. This week she is working for the enemy. That’s not our beautiful, sweet Iris. That’s a monster.” He pointed at his hair again, nearly getting mustard in it. “You think half the pranks Cor comes up with are _his_ idea? Nope. She’s the mastermind.”

Finished with the cheese, Gladio got up to put the condiments away in the fridge. “ _Okay_. And how _did_ Iris side with Cor?”

Ah yes, his son probably guessed it was sibling rivalry, and Iris did always make it a point to go against her brother, but this was _brainwashing_.

Clarus sniffed dramatically. “I, regrettably, used my innocent baby girl as part of a prank on Cor, but when I went to laugh in his face and retrieve her, he had already turned her to his side. Also, you know you have about twenty Kenny Crow stickers stuck to your back right?”

He sighed. “Cor must have figured it out.”

“How many did Prompto manage to put on him?”

“Thirty-five. I honestly thought Prompto was gonna chicken-out, but he’s a natural prankster. Why’d you have to change your shirt? Twice?”

“ _Someone_ replace my hand sanitizer with lubricating jelly. After I changed into my spare, Regis made his fealty known with an exploding pen joke.”

"You know that fades after a few minutes, right? They’re probably setting you up for more pranks right now.”

Clarus pinched the bridge of his nose. Iris probably revealed that he would fall for it, too. He was in charge of security of the kingdom and all it took was his fourteen year old daughter to be his demise. “You still with me to shave Cor’s sideburns?”

“Yeah, I—”

“—Hey, daddy,” Iris said, rounding the corner, surprised to also find Gladio there. “Oh. Is this what you guys do when I’m at school all day? Did you at least make me a sandwich?”

“Hey, sweetheart,” Clarus said cautiously. “Sorry, I didn’t. Why are you home so early?”

She put her bag down on a counter and made a face at him. “I’m half-day today, remember?”

“Or, did Cor sign you out of school?” he asked suspiciously. He made a mental note to look into revoking his authorization to do that whenever it was prank week.

“Seriously? Shouldn’t _both_ of you be at the Citadel?”

Gladio shrugged.

So did Clarus. “I noticed you haven’t said anything about my hair.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Do you want me to? Anyway, can you still take me to get my haircut?”

Clarus made a face at her.

“Don’t give me _that,_ dad. I told you last week. This is for real. Not a prank, I swear.”

“We’ll see. It might have to be Gladio today. I’m a bit behind on work today. Had to come here to change my shirt.”

“Maybe if all of you didn’t do pranks all day…”

“ _Watch it_ , don’t act like you aren’t a part of this.”

She held up her hands. “Hey, I haven’t pranked either of you. I’m too busy with mid-terms.”

He saw Gladio considering his watch and then witnessed the exact moment he fell for his sister’s charm. “Alright, sis, I can take you. But if you try anything—”

“—I won’t,” she smiled, a little too widely. “I promise.”

 

* * *

His phone buzzed and Clarus had to force himself not to look too eager to answer it. _Regis_ had called him for a special council with the Immigration Panel, then excused himself with ‘ _urgent matters_ ,’ a wink at Clarus, and a _‘Lord Cicero, I sincerely apologize, but please feel free to list any and all grievances, no matter how trivial, with with our Lord Shield.’_

The last ten minutes he’d had to listen to him drone on in that terrible monotone of his about why Galahdian food was too spicy and why it returned his ulcers. Which he also explained had to do with stress from his time in Galdin. In _Galdin_. What the hell was there to stress about in Galdin? He almost blurted it out in the council chambers. At least no one dared to ask about his hair.

It was Gladio’s call that had saved him. He had to excuse himself and answered it outside in the hall.

“ ** _Dad! She’s a monster! Do you know what she did?? Shut up—that’s not—_** ”

Iris was laughing hysterically in the background. “— _Ohmygods you fell for it! Don’t worry, we can still tell if you’re mad—_ ”

“ **—Cor blocked traffic! He sent me on detours on a planned route—** ”

Gladio hung up unexpectedly and Clarus wondered just what his daughter and Cor had done. He considered calling him back just to give himself a bit more time before returning to the chamber, but decided that Regis had left it up to him, even if he was pretty sure it was a prank.

As his hand was right about to reach the brazen handle, a cane, a _familiar_ cane, tapped it and barred his entry.

Clarus turned around to find Regis smiling at him.

“Enjoying the meeting?”

Shrugging, he said, “I’ve sat through worse.”

“Apologies.”

He turned, folding his arms and leaning against a column. “What was so urgent you had to leave, _my king_?” He was the only one who could question Regis.

“I needed to sign the amended trade regulation documents before three.”

Clarus smirked. Regis’ political persona did not work on him, but he liked to give him the benefit of the doubt most times. “Fair enough.”

Lowering his cane, Regis stepped closer, nearly in his personal space. “Thanks for being a good sport, my _Lord Shield._ And earlier as well.” He lowered his voice. “It’s always a delight to see you remove your shirt.”

Clarus hummed, his attention flicking to his lips for a moment. Regis _did_ always make it up to him after he had his fun, but it was their rule to never do so in any of the public areas. Still, perhaps Regis would break their rule this one time and he would allow it.

To his delight, Regis did, leaning in to give him a quick kiss, but then the cane came back up and Regis held it across his chest, pinning him to the wall. To his defense, he could very easily overpower his King, but Regis gave him a wicked smile, knowing that he would not.

“ _You traitor,_ ” he whispered, even as he remembered that technically, _Regis_ was the one who started this whole damn thing.

“Treasonous words, my Shield. You’ll have to be punished. Marshal?” he called out.

Cor appeared from around the corner, his smile just as wide as Iris’s had been earlier, and Clarus knew he was in trouble.

“Hey, _Clare,”_ he said, pulling out electric clippers. “An eyebrow for a sideburn. That’s about fair, wouldn’t you agree, Your Majesty?”

Both Regis and Cor’s smiles grew. “I believe so.”

As he turned on the clippers, Cor said, “Don’t worry, it’s just one. I’ve got another eyebrow taken care of already.”


End file.
